On This Day That You Were Born…

On the day you were born you came into this world to a set of parents as new at this parenting thing as we once were. Their unconditional love for you set a foundation that we would someday build a family upon. As good parents, they tested you, argued with you, and helped to form this amazing person who would one day do all the same with me. This person that grew was truthful and loyal. Stubborn and firm.

You’ve worked this far in your life to gain every piece of knowledge about this world that we live (which also makes you the ideal father to two curious boys.) You’ve always had the ability to take this knowledge and extend it, or use it for completely different purposes. At one time, you told me you weren’t even sure if you should be a designer. I couldn’t imagine you in any other job. No other occupation would give you a chance to inform and equalize.

It seems we were all ways destined to be together, and somehow fate let us meet, let us grow, than meet again and we’ve never been apart. I recently read how the best relationships are ones that grow, ones where fighting is okay because it means you both care deeply. I have grown deeply with you. You’ve shown me a world that I was always afraid to go out into, but you’ve also helped create a home to shelter our family from it. You’ve showed me, you were safe. You, I could trust.

So this next year, this glorious year of your life, you’ve got big plans and bigger dreams. More importantly you will have me and two amazing boys here to catch you, love you and grow with you ever bit of our dream.

Going on… how I deal

What have I done in the past week? Well three honey chicken dinners, four dozen muffins, and 3 chicken pot pies (with homemade crusts) in the freezer, and I can’t really tell what’s going on. I feel like I am spending more time staring out the window, watching tree leaves and cooking. I feel like I am going crazy since I don’t know what to do, the minute I walk into the kitchen I cook, whether there is a meal needed or not. I am compelled.  Artie thinks I am stocking up for the apocalypse. To me it feels like it…

Under everything, I feel my family, my life shifting. The boys are getting bigger, needing me less, forcing me to focus on me. Art’s business is on the verge, at the bottom of the last two big hills before it comes to its fulfillment. Our house is letting us know we are on the verge of outgrowing it. Everything is sliding, shifting,changing. How do you prepare/cope with things that you have no idea how they will affect your life? And so profoundly affect your life? I can’t even begin to imagine the next phase let alone face the fact that we are at the end of one period of our life. Yet I feel it.  There. Pulsing in the walls of our house. Thrumming as Art works late into the night. Singing with the boys in the other room. There is change and its coming.

What do you do to cope when things are out of your control?

30 before thirty…

Here it is, my Thirty before Thirty list:

1. Listen More. Talk Less.

2. Draw @ least once a day.

3.

4. Read one art book.

5. Sell 5 pieces of artwork.

6. Be a better friend.

7. Put my family first before all.

8. Be kinder to myself.

9. Go some place alone with Art.

10. Lean how to make pita bread.

11. Get down to 137 lbs.

12. Finish Jack Henry doll.

13. Reconnect w/ those friends I lost touch with.

14. Find a home for my children’s book.

15.

16.

17. Cut out pop.

18.

19.

20. Find a way for me and Art to connect once a week.

21.

22.

23.

24.

25.

26.

27.

28.

29.

30.

 

 

No you are not missing something, the list didn’t even get done. That should give you some clue on how I did with what was on the list. Thirty, you’ve got to do better by me…

I did cut out the pop, the fact that I am even publishing this disasterous list means that I am being kinder to myself, by admitting the world did not end because I did not finish my list. In the last 3 months me and Art have managed one lunch date.

I am not complaining, quite the opposite, this unfinished list is just serving as a reminder my life is busy, my life is full, can I really ask for more? On this day I was born I am excited over my new decade a new begining, and I will tell you later of the breakdown I had when I found this list 2 days before my birthday and what Art wrote on it that made everything better….. Cheers to the next 30 years!

This morning I was woken up by a 3.5 year old wake you up at 5 am because he is so excited for your birthday, the enthusiasm spread… than I found Gyo Fujikawa Fairy Tale book, Dolce and Gabbana Jeans, and a gold binocular necklace at Savers.. the day gets better.. off to Chino Latino sans children with Artie for supper. 30 is going to be amazing!!!

{this moment}

{this moment} – A Friday ritual. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. Inspired by Soulemama

If you’re inspired to do the same, leave a link to your ‘moment’ in the comments for all to find and see

 

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