I fear it, every dream, every day and every breath. It is my ultimate fear, one I am more afraid of than any other one or combined fear. If my child should leave this world before I do. Just typing this brings an ache to my chest a heaviness to my heart and tears to my eyes at even the unthinkable happening. But it does happen, it happens every day to people we know and people we don’t know.
Babies lost before their face is ever seen, babies lost within their first breathes but loved an entire lifetime in that one breath. Children who have the unimaginable happen to them. Children who live in the face of death every day.
And yet every time I think about the unimaginable happening, I always have one wish and only one. That if I can not save them, rescue them, that I at least want them to know the full force with which they were truly and deeply loved.
This week while looking for photo references for my art, I ran across these photos on this blog. This blog has heart breaking pictures of what has happened to the children of Gaza. This mother spoke to me. The look on her face showed the depth the reach of how her love encompased her child, her strength, her warmth, her motherhood. Her boy who reminded me so much of my own first-born with his deeper than chocolate eyes. She actually has the courage to work her face into the warm comforting face the boy so desperatly needs. Despite her inner pain and anguish she attends to her child first, knowing that these might be the very last few minutes she has to feel his warmth in her arms before it slips away. The image would not leave my head… it was aching to come out my fingers in its own translation.
So to mothers, our job is great, our Heartache often deep, but our love is bigger….
Next week hopefully something more upbeat sticks in my brain.
( Also the images on the website are of an Iranian woman and child, but the author used them to drive their point, which I guess also works in my favor also…)